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Millennial’s Parody Guide to Saving for a Home

By November 19, 2019 No Comments
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Disclaimer: As opposed to the No BullShi*t Guide, our Millennial’s Parody Guides are meant to be casual articles that aren’t meant to be taken seriously. We hope you can #relate!

Here are the top 5 ways you can cut your spendings and save towards buying a home.


God knows how many cups of Chai Latte or Pumpkin Spice Latte you’ve bought just this week.


Not only is all that plastic bad for the environment (but seriously, if you’re an avid Starbucks patron, get a reusable mug to save plastic. If you’ve already committed to the plastic, at least cleanse yourself of your sin by offsetting your carbon emissions with Wren.)

Those $7 you spend multiple times every day adds up very quickly, and you’re pushing further and further away that day of financial independence that you can partially obtain with buying a home.

Food Delivery

Ok, don’t even try to lie about this one. We know you’re probably CURRENTLY munching on some DoorDash/GrubHub food you ordered while you read this article.

Refer to the previous section for the rant about single-use plastics (or styrofoam).

Food delivery runs you probably $15 (on the conservative end of things) every time. That’s $15 you could be putting towards your downpayment.

Apple Airpods

Okay, fine. We are guilty of this too, we’ll be honest. They ARE very functional and convenient.

BUT they do not run cheap. We’ve already seen 3 iterations of the Airpods (1, 2 and the pro), and if you’re buying a set every time they come out, you’re cheating yourself of hundreds of dollars towards title fees you could otherwise be paying if you were buying a home.

Not to mention, if you’re one to lose them easily, you’d have spent way more on them every time you lost either of them or the case. Do everyone a favor, and get a pair of earphones with wires so none of us have to suffer the pain of walking past a lonely airpod (still a better love story than Twilight).

Avocado Toast

“Buying avocado is fine, but spending $15 on avocado toast is too much” – our engineer.

You have the verdict fellas, straight from the mouth of a genius. It’s not that hard to toast your own bread, cut some avocado on it, and season it (if even).

Love yourself.

La Croix

We saved the worst for the last.

Seriously y’all? You’re telling us that you refuse to drink water and you have to buy canned, carbonated, sour water to quench your thirst?

We hope you’re at least recycling your cans.

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